St Patricks Day Survival Tips

Top’o The Mornin To Ya!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day to you all! St Patties day is one of our favorite days here at Official Man Card HQ. The sweet smell of the pubs getting vast shipments of beer. The cool breeze that carries the sent of stale puke from outside the bar. The inevitable black eye you’ll receive from the really drunk guy who though you grabbed his girlfriends ass (Don’t lie, we know you did). All of these things warm our hearts.

But with all of these festivities we must warn you: It’s going to get crazy out there. That’s why we came up with a few St Patrick’s Day Survival Tips:

1. Watch Out for Leprechauns: So we’ve all seen the movie. Leprechauns are no joke. That’s why when you see anything smaller than you, pick it up and throw! That’s right, we’re proposing that in order to stay safe from Leprechauns, it is advisable to throw all smaller people you encounter on St Patties Day. You never know when a leprechaun could be hiding among the crowd. Click here for Dwarf Throwing Rules and Regulations.
2. Drink Guinness: Its St. Patricks Day for crying out loud! Nothing will get you punched out by an Irishmen who’s slightly inebriated and in the mood for punching worse than you standing in the corner of O’Malleys Pub with a Bud light Lime in your hand. We know its thick and hearty and like trying to chug a loaf of bread, but suck it up man! Chug a Guinness or Man Card Revoked!
3. Beware Beer Goggles: You know its going to happen. Whether your Irish or not, you’ll be pounding the beers back all day today. Then the time will come when that oh so sexy vixen walks into the pub, just waiting for you to take her home. We know, however, that in the morning you’ll be chewing your arm off trying to get away. Its always important to use the buddy system in this situation – although the system always has that fatal flaw of your friends being as smashed (or more) than you are.

With these simple tips you can have a safe and liver-killing St. Pattys Day. Enjoy!

Stay Manly My Friends…