Toilet Paper Positioning

It’s a simple question Readers, A or B? on your Toilet Paper Positioning habits when hanging a new roll. Personally I like to use the ear of a Panda to wipe my ass, because 1, have you ever seen shit on a Panda’s ear? no you haven’t and that shit repelling ability makes environmentally friendly as once the shit has slid off you can reuse it. 2, you need to treat your ass right as anyone who has experienced chaffing in that area or Taco Ass* can understand and there is nothing on this planet softer than a panda’s ear making it perfect for your rear.
Word of warning to anyone looking to try out a Panda’s ear, remove the “Panda” part of Panda’s ear before wiping commences unless you like extreme toilet sports with an enraged Panda who has shit sliding off of one ear.

* Taco Ass

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  1. Zak K says:


  2. B

    and I too have used a Panda’s Ear…i do prefer extreme toilet sports, so the Panda was attached. Is it wrong that it was a baby panda?

  3. Simon says:

    With A there a common contact point from the wall between users of the loo. I’m defiantly a B man on this topic.

  4. Gem says:

    Really there’s an option A??? Why would there be an option A???
    B is the only valid answer and the only answer that computes

  5. B, only B. It’s some weird woman trick to do A. Something they do just to screw with men. OH and I’ve told all 3 females in my house, I will try to remember to put the seat down but maybe you should fucking look before you sit down if you don’t want to fall in the damn toilet!
    Sorry about the intensity, but it has been a 2 decade, 3-wife long argument.

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