The OMC Rules for: Shotgun

Calling “Shotgun” is a time honered tradition amounst Men (& those Women folk) that refers to the act of claiming the front passenger seat of an automobile for one’s self. The origin of calling “Shotgun” goes back to the days of stagecoaches and waggons when you had the driver of a wagon up front concentrating on driving and a second bloke with a shotgun to fend off any attacks by bandits and such. Shotgun has since evolved into a pre-driving ritual that is practiced the world over and can sometimes lead to argument as rules can differ between contenders. For this and to solve the great debate over who gets Shotgun while I’m driving the Official Man Card’s Zombiepocolypse Vehicle of choice, Conquest Vehicle Inc’s KNIGHT XV, I have refined the following rules and dubbed them;

“The Official Man Card Rules for Shotgun”

  1. The first person to call “SHOTGUN” gets to ride in the front seat.
  2. The remaining back seats may be divvied up in the same manner by being the first to call “back right seat”, etc.. However if there are 3 people to be seated in the back the smallest of the 3 has to ride “tampon” and sit in the middle seat.
  3. The word “shotgun” must be loud enough to be heard by at least the Driver. In case of a tie or your in a hurry fleeing from the oncoming Zombie masses the driver has the final word.
  4. Early calls are strictly prohibited. The majority of the vehicle occupants (including the driver) must be on the way to the vehicle before shotgun may be called and you may not call Shotgun until the automobile is within your sight, the line of sight rule.
  5. A person may only call shotgun for one way of a trip, one can not get out of a vehicle and call Shotgun for the return journey.
  6. One is allowed to ride shotgun as many times as one can call it, but for one’s self only. No one can call shotgun for some one else or the slow guy, in the event of a Zombiepocolypse and the slow guy has fallen its best to drive to his location if possible or put a bullet in his slow ass now.
  7. The driver has final say in all ties and disputes.  The driver has the right to suspend or remove all shotgun privileges from one or more persons.  Don’t mess with the driver.
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3 Comments

  1. Sergio says:

    I hate to say it but it should be mentioned…in the event of a pregnant woman due to being with child she automatically gets shotgun privileges but that is provisioned by how far along the mother is. We may me men but we are not assholes fellas.

  2. Simon says:

    Good point Surge, I’d like to think that would fall under the common decency clause

  3. Gem says:

    In the words of the Office’s Michael Scott, whoever makes the call gets to sit in the front passenger seat, there are no exceptions for someone with a concussion.

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