Latest Revoked Report

Dawn of the Authentic Man Card

Before there was Man, there was the dawn of the Authentic Man Card!

Latest Revoked Report

Official Man Card Holiday Special

Guys, We want to wish everyone Merry Christmas, Happy holidays, and more! To show our appreciation to our users, we decided to put together this Christmas Special. Enjoy, and Stay Manly!

Latest Revoked Report

Revoked Report 025

Hue Jass is back with another revocation of someones Man Card! This week Hue judges Jordan’s Man Card based on James revocation, stating that he “Goes to Hooters for the Food!” This gets Hue mad, and the community as well! See what Jordan will have to do to regain his Man Card. This weeks episode

Latest Revoked Report

Revoked Report 024

Hue Jass is back with another rousing revocation of someones Man Card! This week Stanley submitted Matt for Man Card revocation due to his “Poor Television Choices”. Matt seems to have a bad habit of not only watching the Bachelor but posting about it on Facebook! What will the community decide? Watch this weeks Revoked

Latest Revoked Report

Revoked Report 23

We’re back for Season Three of the Revoked Report, reporting on your Man Card Revocations submitted to OfficialManCard.com. Today, Eddies Man Card has been questioned by Loveon to gazing into their new top load washer for hours on end. Does Eddie deserve to have his Man Card Revoked? The community has spoken! See the revocation


Latest Revocations

OOOPS!!

Revoke his Man Card?

2 Yes
1 No

Revokee: John Joe Aramburo

Reason For Revocation:

Listening to Britney Spears is a serious offense! You have been formally warned.

Make a Comment

Tatoos

Revoke his Man Card?

5 Yes
0 No

Revokee: Jose sarmiento

Reason For Revocation:

Him and his girlfriend got matching heart tatoos

Make a Comment

For the Unmanly practice of Manbunning

Revoke his Man Card?

5 Yes
0 No

Revokee: Matthew Shreve

Reason For Revocation:

For the unjust practice of sporting a top-knot Manbun for the purpose of keeping the bangs out of the eyes, and for possible cosmetic reasons. This is in direct violation of one of the oldest standards of male hair growth.

“Growing it out” is a rite of passage. As a man partaking in this ancient and sacred ritual, you are not to style your hair as a woman can, neither for cosmetic or aesthetic purposes. You must either (A) part the hair/comb it back in a suitable fashion (B) Wear a hat or other types of headgear that are not fedoras/trilbys (C) Deal with it, because you’re a man.

In order to achieve the long desirable mane, a man must face the trials and tribulations of the dreaded “King Arthur Phase”. Having long hair is a sign of patience, commitment, and to show the world you can stick with something. To *style your growing hair in a Manbun is an affront to these values.

I hereby order your Man Card to be placed on suspension (1st penalty). Reinstatement to be determined once the hair has be rehabilitated.

*acceptable styles for long hair on men are low ponytails, no ponytails, parted with the natural hairline or if the man has a cowlick. Braids are also acceptable for the working environment. Also, if there is a hazardous environment (i.e. OSHA regulated job sites) only then the man is allowed to put the hair in a bun-type fashion, and CAN NOT refer to it as “Man Bun” but simply as “putting your hair up”.

Make a Comment

For the Unmanly practice of Manbunning

Revoke his Man Card?

4 Yes
0 No

Revokee: Matthew Shreve

Reason For Revocation:

For the unjust practice of sporting a top-knot Manbun for the purpose of keeping the bangs out of the eyes, and for possible cosmetic reasons. This is in direct violation of one of the oldest standards of male hair growth.

“Growing it out” is a rite of passage. As a man partaking in this ancient and sacred ritual, you are not to style your hair as a woman can, neither for cosmetic or aesthetic purposes. You must either (A) part the hair/comb it back in a suitable fashion (B) Wear a hat or other types of headgear that are not fedoras/trilbys (C) Deal with it, because you’re a man.

In order to achieve the long desirable mane, a man must face the trials and tribulations of the dreaded “King Arthur Phase”. Having long hair is a sign of patience, commitment, and to show the world you can stick with something. To *style your growing hair in a Manbun is an affront to these values.

I hereby order your Man Card to be placed on suspension (1st penalty). Reinstatement to be determined once the hair has be rehabilitated.

*acceptable styles for long hair on men are low ponytails, no ponytails, parted with the natural hairline or if the man has a cowlick. Braids are also acceptable for the working environment. Also, if there is a hazardous environment (i.e. OSHA regulated job sites) only then the man is allowed to put the hair in a bun-type fashion, and CAN NOT refer to it as “Man Bun” but simply as “putting your hair up”.

Make a Comment

Refusal to Attend Bachelor Party

Revoke his Man Card?

4 Yes
1 No

Revokee: Anthony Antonelli

Reason For Revocation:

This gentleman has refused to attend a Las Vegas bachelor party. This, in and of itself, should be cause for immediate revocation…However, take into account instead of attending, this gentleman will be going to Los Angeles, drinking cranberry vodka cocktails and possibly shopping for French-made purses. Please consider this for immediate revocation of said Man Card for the gentleman above.

Make a Comment

Recent Articles

The Hand of John L. Sullivan

“You may be tough, but you’ll never knock him down…” That line sticks out of the new Flogging Molly’s The Hand of John L Sullivan. Name sound familiar? Sullivan, nicknamed “Boston Strong Boy”, is otherwise known as the strongman meme. We here at Official Man Card have a strong connection with Mr. Sullivan, including using

read more

Dawn of the Authentic Man Card

Before there was Man, there was the dawn of the Authentic Man Card!

read more

Official Man Card Holiday Special

Guys, We want to wish everyone Merry Christmas, Happy holidays, and more! To show our appreciation to our users, we decided to put together this Christmas Special. Enjoy, and Stay Manly!

read more

Dollar Shave Club Aims For Your A$$

Those crazy kids over at Dollar Shave Club (A mail-order razor service) have moved there attention from their #1 product, razor blades to a #2 product, butt wipes, litterally a #2 product. Allow comedian Mike Dubin to explain the new product in the video above. Check out Dollar Shave Club Here: DollarShaveClub.com

read more

Revoked Report 025

Hue Jass is back with another revocation of someones Man Card! This week Hue judges Jordan’s Man Card based on James revocation, stating that he “Goes to Hooters for the Food!” This gets Hue mad, and the community as well! See what Jordan will have to do to regain his Man Card. This weeks episode

read more

Book Review: Field Guide to Chicks of the United States by Joe Bovino

Immaculate Rejection (Devout Morman), Win-Nguyen (Vietnamese Americna, Afrodesiac (African-American), and the Boca Bitch (Boca Raton, FL) all may seem like slang names for the cast of an up coming reality TV show, but they’re actually classifications of “birds” of the United States. Birds, in this context, gentlemen, are women. In Field Guide to Chicks of

read more

Nitro Boat Vs Whiney Girlfriend

Now gentlemen, no one should have to put up with anyone being whiney. When anyone gets whiney here at the Official Man Card studios, we send John Russell over to smack them upside the head once or twice! With this nitro boat, however, John may be out of a job. Take a look at let

read more

How To Kill a Mustache

Last month we showed you how to grow a Manly Mo for Movember and now that it’s over it’s time, for some to kill that mouth brow. For those brave enough here’s how

read more

How to Grow a Manly Mo for Movember

In honor of Movember, actor and renowned moustache grower Nick Offerman gives you, the everyday man, advice on how to grow a proper soup-strainer. Take notes gentlemen, he’s a professional

read more

Woman Revokes Man Card

Normally we have great concern when giving a lady the power to revoke a man card. So much so we have a vetting process in order to make sure that only those ladies who hold an Authorization to Revoke a Man Card can wield the power. Yet, when Kim emailed us, we had to take action

read more