Post Tagged with: "man card revoke"

Basement dweller

Revoke his Man Card?

1 Yes
0 No

Revokee: Sam Anderson

Reason For Revocation:

Being a basement dweller and not having any manly hobbies.

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Skirt

Revoke his Man Card?

2 Yes
0 No

Revokee: Matt Halbach

Reason For Revocation:

doing craft

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OOOPS!!

Revoke his Man Card?

4 Yes
3 No

Revokee: John Joe Aramburo

Reason For Revocation:

Listening to Britney Spears is a serious offense! You have been formally warned.

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Tatoos

Revoke his Man Card?

9 Yes
0 No

Revokee: Jose sarmiento

Reason For Revocation:

Him and his girlfriend got matching heart tatoos

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For the Unmanly practice of Manbunning

Revoke his Man Card?

8 Yes
1 No

Revokee: Matthew Shreve

Reason For Revocation:

For the unjust practice of sporting a top-knot Manbun for the purpose of keeping the bangs out of the eyes, and for possible cosmetic reasons. This is in direct violation of one of the oldest standards of male hair growth.

“Growing it out” is a rite of passage. As a man partaking in this ancient and sacred ritual, you are not to style your hair as a woman can, neither for cosmetic or aesthetic purposes. You must either (A) part the hair/comb it back in a suitable fashion (B) Wear a hat or other types of headgear that are not fedoras/trilbys (C) Deal with it, because you’re a man.

In order to achieve the long desirable mane, a man must face the trials and tribulations of the dreaded “King Arthur Phase”. Having long hair is a sign of patience, commitment, and to show the world you can stick with something. To *style your growing hair in a Manbun is an affront to these values.

I hereby order your Man Card to be placed on suspension (1st penalty). Reinstatement to be determined once the hair has be rehabilitated.

*acceptable styles for long hair on men are low ponytails, no ponytails, parted with the natural hairline or if the man has a cowlick. Braids are also acceptable for the working environment. Also, if there is a hazardous environment (i.e. OSHA regulated job sites) only then the man is allowed to put the hair in a bun-type fashion, and CAN NOT refer to it as “Man Bun” but simply as “putting your hair up”.

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For the Unmanly practice of Manbunning

Revoke his Man Card?

6 Yes
0 No

Revokee: Matthew Shreve

Reason For Revocation:

For the unjust practice of sporting a top-knot Manbun for the purpose of keeping the bangs out of the eyes, and for possible cosmetic reasons. This is in direct violation of one of the oldest standards of male hair growth.

“Growing it out” is a rite of passage. As a man partaking in this ancient and sacred ritual, you are not to style your hair as a woman can, neither for cosmetic or aesthetic purposes. You must either (A) part the hair/comb it back in a suitable fashion (B) Wear a hat or other types of headgear that are not fedoras/trilbys (C) Deal with it, because you’re a man.

In order to achieve the long desirable mane, a man must face the trials and tribulations of the dreaded “King Arthur Phase”. Having long hair is a sign of patience, commitment, and to show the world you can stick with something. To *style your growing hair in a Manbun is an affront to these values.

I hereby order your Man Card to be placed on suspension (1st penalty). Reinstatement to be determined once the hair has be rehabilitated.

*acceptable styles for long hair on men are low ponytails, no ponytails, parted with the natural hairline or if the man has a cowlick. Braids are also acceptable for the working environment. Also, if there is a hazardous environment (i.e. OSHA regulated job sites) only then the man is allowed to put the hair in a bun-type fashion, and CAN NOT refer to it as “Man Bun” but simply as “putting your hair up”.

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Refusal to Attend Bachelor Party

Revoke his Man Card?

7 Yes
1 No

Revokee: Anthony Antonelli

Reason For Revocation:

This gentleman has refused to attend a Las Vegas bachelor party. This, in and of itself, should be cause for immediate revocation…However, take into account instead of attending, this gentleman will be going to Los Angeles, drinking cranberry vodka cocktails and possibly shopping for French-made purses. Please consider this for immediate revocation of said Man Card for the gentleman above.

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C’mon Bro

Revoke his Man Card?

0 Yes
2 No

Revokee: Andrew Heinen

Reason For Revocation:

Your man card is gone, eat a steak not a weiner

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Refusal to Attend Bachelor Party

Revoke his Man Card?

2 Yes
1 No

Revokee: Anthony Antonelli

Reason For Revocation:

OK…Anthony is hereby refusing to attend an all-out, Las Vegas bachelor party with his two best friends, along with several other manly dudes. Instead of pounding full-calorie beer inside a Vegas bar with loud rock music with a bunch of beard-wielding manly dudes, he has chosen to drink cranberry vodka cocktails while on a trip with his wife to Los Angeles. Instead of blasting AK-47′s in the desert, he had chosen to drive down Rodeo Drive in search of French-made purses. Instead of riding ATV’s, he has chosen to ride in LA traffic. I hereby request the vote of all that his man card be revoked immediately until repentance.

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Refusal to Attend Bachelor Party

Revoke his Man Card?

1 Yes
1 No

Revokee: Anthony Antonelli

Reason For Revocation:

OK…Anthony is hereby refusing to attend an all-out, Las Vegas bachelor party with his two best friends, along with several other manly dudes. Instead of pounding full-calorie beer inside a Vegas bar with loud rock music with a bunch of beard-wielding manly dudes, he has chosen to drink cranberry vodka cocktails while on a trip with his wife to Los Angeles. Instead of blasting AK-47′s in the desert, he had chosen to drive down Rodeo Drive in search of French-made purses. Instead of riding ATV’s, he has chosen to ride in LA traffic. I hereby request the vote of all that his man card be revoked immediately until repentance.

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