Your Grandmother Thinks You are Effeminate

Its not your fault that your grandfather was born in the late 1800 or early 1900s. You can’t help that, in the worst of times, there was no Facebook to whine about life and post a duck-faced picture of himself. There was a coal mine and bread. Thats right, your grandfather grew up on coal dust and bread. How the fuck do you compete with that?

Your Grandfather in The Mine - Not being a pussy

Your Grandfather in The Mine - Not being a pussy

When he was 15 he was working 13 hour days in the mine. One time he had his hand crushed by an enormous piece of machinery that you’ve never heard of and they gave him a half day off and an extra piece of bread. Did he get a paid day off to spend in his apartment watching the Price is Right because his “coal lungs” were acting up? No.

Old Picture of your Grandparents

"Woman, shut up and make more bread"

When he met your grandmother, he was just starting a small bakery on the south side, which at the time was probably a poor but friendly neighborhood. He worked 24/7, literally baking and selling everything himself. They married, she helped him build his business and cemented their marriage in work related hate. Did they divorce because you love your cat and she didn’t? No, she would complain about that cat and he would tell her to shut the fuck up.

They had a strong enough relationship to put up with one another for 55 years. Yes, thats right, they put up with one another. There was no “Couples Counseling” or “Group Therapy”, there was dealing with customers at the bakery, sweeping the floors, and, on a rare drunken occasion, some sort of anger driven love making would occur. How the fuck do you think you got here? If your mom wasn’t born, you wouldn’t be here to make your grandmother cry while asking herself and her deity of choice “Why did you forsake me with this unmanly grandson?”

Hipster Texting

This is you Texting and being a Pussy

This generation of men has no clue. We look back at our Fathers and their fathers, the “Mad Men” generation. Kennedy, Roosevelt, and every day men were all deserving, man card carrying men. Today? Jersey Shore has infected the lives of a million guys. Its killing manliness faster than testicular cancer.

So thats why your grandmother thinks your effeminate. When you are sitting there texting your friends at Thanksgiving, or telling your family about your new “blog post” or “Indie Music Scene” at Christmas, she is silently crying out to herself “What happened to my grandson”.

So what kind of dick are you? Stop making your grandmother cry, Man Up and go get your Goddamn Man Card.

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  1. Jorge says:

    That is by far one of the best posts I’ve ever seen. Bravo.

  2. Fred says:

    This should be scripture.

  3. Xavi says:

    i cried a little…

  4. honorabili says:

    You CANT compete with that. People today are PUSSIES. People back then were made out of solid steel!

  5. paul cameron says:

    reminds me of a client i had, a woman aged 97, she had quit work it 92 as she felt she could not drive the trailer truck any longer and load and unload the carnival equipment as she found it a bit ‘heavy’! Her husband had died 5 years before so she had carried on alone. She also, called her grandson a ‘nancyboy’ and to get off his backside and work!

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