• Simon posted an update 9 years, 4 months ago

    A little something I have been working on for a good 5 or 6 minutes now has finally seen completion and I’m ready to share it with the English speaking world. You know when you get one of those Telemarketers or support calls where they say they are in a local city but you know that they are really in New Delhi! You know how you can never understand them or they keep spelling things wrong. Well here is a new Phonetic Alphabet for just such an occasion to keep you smiling and them guessing. Mess with them long enough and you will never hear from them again.

    Ladies and gentle men I give you…. The Simon Phonetic Alphabet for telemarketers;
    A as in Aisle
    B as in Bdellium
    C as in Czar
    D as in Djinn
    E as in Eureka
    F as in You
    G as in Gnome
    H as in honor
    I as in not you
    J as in Yoke
    K as in knee
    L as in MacPherson
    M as in mnemonic
    N as in O
    O as in god
    P as in pneumonia
    Q as in at the shops
    R as in i’m over 18
    S as in gas leak
    T as in tsunami
    U as in not me
    V as in that cool movie where Natalie Portman goes all Britney spears but hot
    W as in wright
    X as in she left me
    Y as in why are you calling me
    Z as in Germans (Ze Germans)

    • Tom Morton posted a new activity comment: %s Hilarious!

    • wow…that…that is pure genius. mine usually involves something on the line of ‘a call for Justin? are you serious?! he’s been dead less than a week and people are STILL calling for him?! You are a horrible person…*break down into fake sobs/tears’

    • Pretty good. There is one really shocking thing I must ask, are you crazy over Natalie Portman? Cause if you are, you and I have freakishly similar taste…

      • Long Hair, girl next door Natalie Portman I could get to know … Model, short hair, lots of makeup Natalie Protman not so much.