I feel this is a fine line, its a hybrid, but it’s also a chevy

Things never said in my Appartment:

1. Does this make me look fat?

2. Lets watch tv/movie in Standard definition.

3. Hey lets listen to Nickelback all night!!

I love the Evil Dead and Army of Darkness.
‘Shop Smart. Shop S-Mart.’

“How much do you think it will cost to get Triple-A out here?”

“Eat Pray Love?” I preffer “EXPLOSIONS, VIOLENCE, ACTION!!!”

I saw someone drink like that once. I then challenged him to a drinking race. I won because he didn’t know we were racing.

I saw him live at UCF. Hurray for Successful alumni

Mobile, Alabama is lost gents. I’m workin’ at an Australian owned company with an Aussie himself. Soon we will all be speaking with an accent and using metric measurements.

I’m actually working at an Australian owned company right now with and Australian guy within 2m of me. (Thought i would put it in metric terms for the Aussie.) What is going on?!?!?!!

I feel like this is strangely close to a prison rape.

“Hey guys, I’m so excited to finally have my Official Man Card that……Oh hey, Futurama is on.

I can score on her

Should have invited the girl to the party

Slow motion makes everything much better.

I’m goin with Boom Boom as well on this one