OfficialManCard.com » Blog http://officialmancard.com We Issue the worlds only Authentic Man Card Sun, 05 Feb 2012 19:00:41 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= Be(ard) Afraid, Be(ard) Very Afraid http://officialmancard.com/blog/beard-afraid-beard-very-afraid/ http://officialmancard.com/blog/beard-afraid-beard-very-afraid/#comments Tue, 24 Jan 2012 15:22:13 +0000 Simon http://officialmancard.com/?p=12630 A beard is every Man’s right (and some women’s) and its hard to find something more manly than a beard. But thanks to this short film, “The Day I met Dave” beards are now a little scarier and a little haunting.

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]]> http://officialmancard.com/blog/beard-afraid-beard-very-afraid/feed/ 0 Poop Shoot(er) http://officialmancard.com/blog/poop-shooter/ http://officialmancard.com/blog/poop-shooter/#comments Tue, 17 Jan 2012 11:00:46 +0000 Simon http://officialmancard.com/?p=12583 North Carolina police believe that a man they arrested and booked into the county jail earlier this week managed to smuggle an unloaded 10-inch firearm into the cell with him. According to police, the man “may have” stashed a .38 barrel revolver in his rectum. Keep in mind that this is after a strip search & being tased, where its pretty damn hard to control your bodily functions, or so I’m (ahem) told.

A man arrested this week in North Carolina may have stashed a .38 barrel revolver in his rectum, according to police, who reported that the unloaded 10-inch weapon was not discovered until after the suspect had been booked into a cell in the county jail.

Michael Leon Ward, a 22-year-old Georgia resident, was arrested Monday after a trooper spotted him speeding. Ward, who resisted arrest, was subdued with the help of a stun gun. A subsequent search of his vehicle resulted in additional charges for possession of marijuana and drug paraphernalia.

But it was only after Ward–who is a fugitive on a murder warrant out of Atlanta–entered the Onslow County jail that sheriff’s investigators discovered what else he possessed.

According to cops, Ward, summoned jailers to his cell, claiming that someone was trying to kill him, and that he discovered a gun inside his cell. The weapon was found in the toilet, where Ward claimed he tossed it after finding it in his bunk.

The recovered gun is pictured in the above police evidence photo.

Sheriff’s investigators say they are investigating how Ward got the weapon into the jail, since he had been “strip searched prior to being booked into a cell block.” The inmate, a press release notes, was taken today to a local hospital “for possible injuries that may have occurred to Ward’s rectum where it is believed Ward may have concealed” the revolver.

The gun, deputies reported, was test fired and found to be operational.

The gun may have been operational but I’m betting any money that it was a shit shot, YSWIDT?. It was also unloaded when they found it, I wouldn’t be standing behind that dude for a while if you know what I mean.

[Source]

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]]> http://officialmancard.com/blog/poop-shooter/feed/ 0 3 Beers, No Hands, 37 Seconds http://officialmancard.com/blog/3-beers-no-hands-37-seconds/ http://officialmancard.com/blog/3-beers-no-hands-37-seconds/#comments Tue, 17 Jan 2012 04:46:16 +0000 Simon http://officialmancard.com/?p=12584 Chris Schewe, AKA YouTube’s shoenice22 sat down with 3 poms (English people) and proved he’s more man than they could ever hope to be, even if they combined thier powers captain planet style. Chris manages to not only drink a bottle of beer without using his hands but open it as well, 3 times. Ahem, of course we here at OMC HQ promote respectable drinking habits, but damn Chris you the Man.


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]]> http://officialmancard.com/blog/3-beers-no-hands-37-seconds/feed/ 0 The Miller Lite Drunk Cat http://officialmancard.com/blog/the-miller-lite-drunk-cat/ http://officialmancard.com/blog/the-miller-lite-drunk-cat/#comments Mon, 16 Jan 2012 00:04:54 +0000 Simon http://officialmancard.com/?p=12576 Bud have had there slew of animal mascots for their beer and now Miller Lite have the Miller Lite Drunk Cat. Just don’t try and take his beer away from him.

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]]> http://officialmancard.com/blog/the-miller-lite-drunk-cat/feed/ 0 In Russia Shovel Shave You! Wait, What? http://officialmancard.com/blog/in-russia-shovel-shave-you-wait-what/ http://officialmancard.com/blog/in-russia-shovel-shave-you-wait-what/#comments Thu, 05 Jan 2012 13:30:09 +0000 Simon http://officialmancard.com/?p=12503 Nizhny Novgorod is a city about 150 miles east of Moscow, Russia and home to a Man so Manly razor blades and electric shavers fear him. So he shaves with a shovel, a hatchet, and pair of scissors, HA! take that Gillette.

Alexander Karpenko, a 35-year-old English teacher first picked up a pair of scissors at the age of 16 in place of a razor when he was inspired by his grandfather’s stories of men in World War II using anything they could get their hands on to shave while on the battlefield. Karpenko knows shaving with unorthodox tools is dangerous, and doesn’t recommend the practice but commented that he loves the smell of metal and the thrill of having a sharp blade pressed against his throat, knowing that one false move could be fatal.

I have a question, what the hell does this guy use for aftershave? clearly Old Spice isn’t Manly enough for him, Petrol? Napalm? live Piranhas?
Here is hoping that he doesn’t go all metro and use that shovel to do some, “gardening” if you know what I mean. And by know what I mean I mean shave his balls. It does however give meaning to the term Manscaping when you’re doing it with a shovel.

hatchet scissors sharpening the shovel shovel

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]]> http://officialmancard.com/blog/in-russia-shovel-shave-you-wait-what/feed/ 0 IKEA’s ManLand for the Big Boys Nursery http://officialmancard.com/blog/ikeas-manland-for-the-big-boys-nursery/ http://officialmancard.com/blog/ikeas-manland-for-the-big-boys-nursery/#comments Thu, 05 Jan 2012 08:06:09 +0000 Simon http://officialmancard.com/?p=12057 An Ikea store in Sydney, Australia couldn’t be further away from IKEA’s home land of Sweden and yet they have just taken it up a notch by introducing “ManLand”. A day care for that little kid inside the big kid that is Man. Now how about slipping in a bar and some stripper poles female wait staff.

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]]> http://officialmancard.com/blog/ikeas-manland-for-the-big-boys-nursery/feed/ 0 #ManCardRevoked Trending on Twitter http://officialmancard.com/blog/mancardrevoked-trending-on-twitter/ http://officialmancard.com/blog/mancardrevoked-trending-on-twitter/#comments Thu, 01 Dec 2011 18:21:01 +0000 John Russell http://officialmancard.com/?p=12412 While I don’t understand this new fangled twitter stuff, apparently #ManCardRevoked was trending on twitter today! These young bastards with their smart phones and high speed internet connections sure can type fast! Here are some of the highlights of #ManCardRevoked: Outback Salad #ManCardRevoked prince-song Matching Dog Sweater #ManCardRevoked Shoes #ManCardRevoked Shakespear #ManCardRevoked Muscle Tee #ManCardRevoked Sparkle in the Sun #ManCardRevoked Snape #ManCardRevoked Mani Peti #ManCardRevoked Watching Glee #ManCardRevoked Sitting to Pee #ManCardRevoked High School #ManCardRevoked

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]]> http://officialmancard.com/blog/mancardrevoked-trending-on-twitter/feed/ 0 Guy on a Buffalo Part Two http://officialmancard.com/blog/guy-on-a-buffalo-part-two/ http://officialmancard.com/blog/guy-on-a-buffalo-part-two/#comments Sun, 13 Nov 2011 11:30:51 +0000 John Russell http://officialmancard.com/?p=12250 Boys,

Let me tell you something about living in the coldest of cold. Those Russians? They ain’t got nothing on Cantwell, let me tell you. Thats why me and the Guy on a Buffalo can relate so well. We both live in the wilderness, both ride animals that we shouldn’t (my apologies to the Mrs. for that comment) and we both save babies from the bush and give them to random women.

This episode from the Possum Posse features the Guy on a Buffalo rescuing a baby, finding it a new home, and then wrestling a cougar and riding into the sunset. What more could you ask for? Take notes gent’s, these are words (and videos) to live by.

John Russell, We’re done here.

 

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]]> http://officialmancard.com/blog/guy-on-a-buffalo-part-two/feed/ 0 Guy on a Buffalo Part One http://officialmancard.com/blog/guy-on-a-buffalo-part-one/ http://officialmancard.com/blog/guy-on-a-buffalo-part-one/#comments Sat, 12 Nov 2011 11:00:10 +0000 John Russell http://officialmancard.com/?p=12241 Gentlemen,

You may think your a real man. You may have chased a bear away from your food. Hell, you may have even fought an Indian who shot you. But did you do all of these things while riding a buffalo? I think not.

In this series, the Possum Posse has devoted a song to spreading the knowledge and legend of the Guy on a Buffalo, who’s real name was John Freeman. In this episode, we learn how to chase a bear and defend yourself against Indian attacks. Take notes, gentlemen, in case this ever happens to you!

*This film is for educational purposes only

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]]> http://officialmancard.com/blog/guy-on-a-buffalo-part-one/feed/ 0 The Beardlands http://officialmancard.com/blog/the-beardlands/ http://officialmancard.com/blog/the-beardlands/#comments Fri, 11 Nov 2011 15:19:37 +0000 Simon http://officialmancard.com/?p=12236 In honor of Movember, we here at Official Man Card (and Chaz Bono) believe in growing the proper beard. How does one do this, you ask? Well, thankfully GeekOSystem has found a proper chart for you to guide yourself through the trails and tribulations, from full grown wild man beard all the way to clean shaven.

 

The Beardlands

Image Credit: GeekOSystem.com

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